


Cadence

by Acai



Category: Poetry - Fandom, challenges - Fandom
Genre: 100 day poetry challenge, 100 poems in 100 days challenge, Challenges, Poetry, long-term challenge, no-fandom - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-17 21:14:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5885458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acai/pseuds/Acai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of works posted for the 100 Poems, 100 Days challenge.<br/>(Posted here for transfer to a different website)<br/>(Unimportant)<br/>(Not a story)<br/>(Literally just here for links)<br/>(Not for reading)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lies and The End of All Things

Don’t tell me you cried,

I know that you didn’t.

Don’t tell me you’re sorry,

I know that you aren’t.

Don’t tell me you love me,

I know you just use me.

Don’t tell me you’re changing,

 You’re not.

 

Don’t tell me you’re trying,

You’re just tripping.

Don’t tell me you’re falling,

You’re the one who threw yourself down.

 

I won’t lie to you,

I won’t tell you I love you.

I won’t lie to you,

I won’t tell you I hate you.

 

I don’t hate you,

I hate the things you do.

I don’t hate you,

I hate the things you say,

The way you act,

The way you lie,

The way you pretend,

The way you hurt,

The way you hold,

The way you destroy.

 

I hate the way I try to hate,

I hate the way I try to grab the ground

As I fall.

  
Can I extend my arms as I fall?

If I reach for someone,

Will I be caught?

If I reach out,

Will I be encased in warmth?

 

Will I be left to the cold and the dark,

Will I drown with air in my lungs?


	2. Thirteen Petals and Thirteen Sins

There’s thirteen petals on the flower,

Vibrant and white.

White

Innocence, purity, love.

 

There’s thirteen petals on the flower

To represent thirteen sins.

Greed, lies, murder,

They’re all there.

 

And what would you say if I told you the white was a lie?

What would you say,

If I told you it was all paint?

 

Would you rub your fingers on the petals,

Would you run your hand along the stem?

 

Nothing would rub off on your hand.

 

Indulge me,

Tell me, if nothing were to rub off on you

Would you believe me?

 

Would you believe me over your hand,

Which so clearly told you that the flower

Truly was white?

 

Would you ask me—

Would you tell me, ‘the flower is white,’?

 

I cannot prove it to you

That the flower is black down under.

The white cannot be washed away,

Not by rain or words or fingers.

No one will ever see the black under the white,

Until the flower opens,

And inside is only deep black,

Dark as night and fear and pain.

 

Would you believe me then?

Would you call me mistaken?

Would you call _yourself_ mistaken?

 

Thirteen petals on a flower,

Pretty and white,

Lies.

Thirteen petals, thirteen sins,

Black as coal, black as hurt.

 

Would you believe me?


	3. Rain and Memories No One Remembers

The sky cries for you,

Soaking the world under,

Cleansing it of the footprints of the sinners

Who walk about it

Like they own it.

//

The sky cries for you,

Left alone,

With no one to hold

No place to call home.

//

The sky cries for you,

Left in the flooded road,

Left in the cold alone

With no one to call

With no place to go.

//

The sky is sobbing,

For the one who promised to kiss you,

You suffocated because he tried.

//

The sky is growing dim,

Shading everyone who hurt you

In darkness,

Cloaking them in fear,

Raining onto them

The sadness, the pity it holds for you.

//

The sky cries for you,

It calls to you

With sweet promises

Saying it’ll be over soon.

//


	4. Sirens and Requiems

Ambulance sirens,

Ambulance lights,

Singing a requiem,

Douse the scene with lights.

//

Pitiful cries,

Pitiful dreams,

Fill the night with noise no one hears,

Filled your head with hope.

//

Adolescent wishing,

Adolescent thinking,

Wondering if they could have changed a thing,

So full of themselves

They think they really mattered.

//

Terrified presence,

Terrifying unawareness,

He’s there in the night,

They don’t even know.

//

Bloody pathways,

Bloody memories,

The blood isn’t real,

It’s just a metaphor

For the pain he felt.

//


	5. The Vole and The Wolf

The wolf

With blood on his teeth

And fur in his claws

//

The wolf

Creeping along

Hiding in the shadows

His presence,

Not a secret

To even the blind.

//

The vole

With little eyes

And brown fur

//

The vole

Hiding from the huntress

Hiding from the sun.

His presence,

A secret

To all but the wolf.

//

You’d think

That after all this killing

The wolf would be sick

Of the feeling,

Of blood staining the snow

Of tearing meat from bones.

//

You’d think

After all this time

He’d be full.

How much can he eat?

How much can he take?

//

The wolf

Still unsatisfied

Still unwilling

To give up the killing.

//

The vole

Still afraid

Still desperate to live

Won’t even try to run.

//

The vole

Who did nothing wrong

Has done nothing to deserve a fate

As cruel

As the wolf is black

//

The wolf

Who did nothing good

To deserve a life of comfort

Has everything he could desire

In the little mind he has.

//

The wolf

Will not spare the vole.

//

The wolf

Will not spare a thing.

//

The world

Will just keep spinning

For why could it ever care

About the little vole

Destined to die

From the moment it lived

//


	6. The Cloud and The Rain

Without water

What is a cloud?

Without atmosphere

Where does it go?

//

If all the water in a cloud

Vies to escape from the atmosphere,

If it wishes to fall,

Can the cloud do a thing about it?

//

If all the water,

Condensed into the sky,

Condensed into the cloud,

Longs to fall,

And never return,

What does that make the cloud?

//

If it were to fall

If it were to disappear entirely

If it were to leave existence

To move on

To become something new,

There would be no cloud.

//

The cloud is a metaphor,

The rain is the same

Metaphors for longing,

Loss,

For leaving

For wishing

For clinging too tight

For holding on

So that you don’t disappear

For losing everything

For losing someone

You couldn’t hold on to

//

The cloud is a metaphor

The rain is the same.

//


	7. Blue Ocean V19 and Links You Never Clicked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ct.19 pm.80  
> \--For Conn. Feb.21--

_tell you I’m sorry_

_I tell you I’m hurting_

_I tell you I’m hiding_

_I tell you I’m faking_

_I tell you I’m not feeling a thing_

_I don’t think you’re believing me_

_//_

_I see the things you post,_

_The words you hide_

_Inside your mind._

_When you tell me subtle words I get the meaning_

_But I try to disguise the understanding_

_I try to complicate replies_

_To perfect the world inside my mind_

_//_

_It’s okay, most of the time_

_When I’m feeling fine and I feel okay_

_On those days_

_I wonder how I ever feel low_

_How I ever feel upset_

_Then I go back to being afraid_

_Tears are slipping down my face but I’m not sure why_

_I’m still feeling fine_

_Am I breaking down again?_

_Is this the end?_

_//_

_All these songs with perfect words_

_All these posts of perfect love_

_All these times I try to be calm_

_Here I am_

_A mess again_

_Missing everyone again_

_//_

_He’s gone again_

_And here I sit_

_Wallowing in this perfect mess_

_Of I’m okay and save the day_

_Getting people through the day with pretty lies_

_And bright blue skies of comforts that I always give_

_I don’t listen to those lies_

_//_

_He’s gone again_

_I trusted him_

_He said he’d never leave me again_

_But now he’s gone and here I sit_

_Crying over him once again_

_I laugh and joke, he’s comic relief_

_But it never stops really hurting_

_He’s a metaphor for pretty lies_

_Because he said he loved me._

_Because he said he’d never leave._

_Because he said he’d never lie._

_Because he said he trusted me._

_He left—I know he never loved_

_He lied—I know he never trusted._

_//_

_She’s gone again, this time for good_

_She’s a metaphor for pretty smiles_

_Hiding pathetic, broken lies_

_Of I’m okay!_

_And happy exterior_

_But the longer the poem grows_

_The more I soak my lap with tears_

_She’s gone again, I loved too soon_

_It wasn’t the love of kissing you,_

_But the love of trust I never knew_

_A better friend_

_Than any before?_

_What a joke, there’s the door_

_But look, oh wait she left before_

_I even said goodbye._

_//_

_Sometimes I think I’m fine._

_//_

_Sometimes I see them in the hallway_

_On the streets_

_At petty little things that don’t mean a thing_

_Your little sister still says hi to me_

_Why don’t you even look my way?_

_Why does your glare hurt worse than your goodbye?_

_You said you’d never leave_

_And I guess the goodbye is a metaphor_

_We didn’t even fight_

_I just left one day and came back the next and you didn’t even say hi_

_Do you have a reason why?_

_Am I not enough?_

_Are you someone I never knew?_

_You said you’ve never leave._

_I guess you were right—_

_You never did leave me a letter goodbye._

_//_

_These letters, they’re my next metaphor_

_There’s not a single piece of paper in my possession that’d tell me why you left_

_But in my head_

_You all wrote notes_

_The notes say words_

_You spoke to me_

_They’re your goodbyes_

_His says ‘you weren’t the daughter I wanted,’_

_His says, ‘it’s your fault I’m going,’_

_Hers says, ‘I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,’_

_Hers says, ‘I thought we were friends,’_

_And theirs say, ‘I wanted to do it! You’re holding me back!’_

_And you pass me in the hallway_

_And it was your choice to go_

_But I still miss you_

_//_

_For all the notes goodbye_

_For all the empty letters_

_For all the silent glares_

_For all the vengeance for things I didn’t do_

_For everything you’ve done_

_I still ache to think of you_

_For every time you’ve hurt me_

_For every time you’ve left a scar_

_I’d still welcome you back in open arms_

_//_

_Is that pathetic?_

_//_

_Is that why you left?_

_//_

_Is this getting too poetic?_

_//_

_I didn’t even text back_

_//_

_I wrote out such a long message_

_I told you everything I wanted to tell you_

_I told you every little thing I wanted to reply_

_I told you each little thing_

_I deleted the whole message_

_I started again_

_‘I know. I love you.’_

_‘I love you too.’_

_//_

_I didn’t even reply._

_//_

_Am I pathetic?_

_//_

_Is that why they left?_

_//_

_Should I say something more to ‘I love you too’?_

_//_

_You say you’re not going anywhere._

_I don’t reply_

_Not in my head_

_But in the text I say_

_‘I know. I love you.’_

_The message I deleted wasn’t much longer_

_All it said was, ‘they all said that too’_

_//_

_How morbidly poetic_

_//_

_I think I’m done, I think I’m fine_

_I know that I just told a lie_

_‘are you okay?’_

_I am completely_

_But here I am and here I cry_

_Here I am_

_Wasting my time_

_On broken people_

_And broken promises_

_Broken homes that I called mine_

_And it’s the past—why do I cry?_

_Why do I try to change your mind_

_I’m terrified now_

_I call it anxiety_

_It’s here to accompany my mind_

_It whispers things it tells me lies_

_It plants ideas in my mind_

_//_

_‘Look over there’_

_‘a bottle of pills—think evil thoughts’_

_‘better for everyone—who’d even care?’_

_“Are you okay?”_

_I’m doing fine!_

_I don’t do it—I don’t touch those things_

_Because if it’s for you_

_Then I won’t bleed_

_You don’t even know_

_You don’t even know_

_You don’t even know_

_//_


	8. Jaden Smith and 20 Minutes of Effort

I’m terrified of knowing you,

I’m terrified of being you

I’m terrified of loving you

I’m terrified of losing you

Whisper little nothings in my ear

Tell me that you’ll never leave, that you’ll always be here

Tell me that you love me, tell me that you need me

Even if it’s a lie it’s what I crave to hear

Tell me that you’ll hold me, tell me that you’ll soothe me,

Tell me that when I need to talk you’ll always be there to hear

Stop

I dropped a tear in the ocean

Tell me are you looking? Tell me are you trying to find it to show that you are worthy of my love

Should it have been a river? Should it have been a pond?

Is an ocean too wide to put effort into finding our love?

And if you find that tear, if you scour through the ocean

Day and night without a wink of sleep just to show it,

Baby if you find it, Honey if you show it,

I’ll know not to stop loving you and call you back when you try to leave

Is it a worthless cause? Will you even bother searching?

Am I holding tight to something that is nothing?

Am I giving too much? Are  you holding back?

Are you lying to me when you tell me that you love me tell me that you need me tell me that you’ll hold me tell me that you’ll always be near

Is this a worthless cause?

I dropped a tear in an ocean you didn’t bother searching you didn’t bother holding on

I knew then not to love you, I knew then not to need you, I knew then not to crave you by my said

Stop

I can’t stop love like this, I try and I make up excuses

Tell myself an ocean’s big, tell myself you’re suffering,

Tell myself it doesn’t mean a thing when you refuse to try and find it

Tell myself you’re trying

Too much white noise I can’t hear a thing,

Too much suffering I can’t feel a thing

Sick of listening to your lies,

Sick of hearing you try

Sick of agonizing waiting

  
Look out at the rain on the windowsill

It falls, slowly glistening,

They look like the tears of the lost

Crying

Agonizing

It’s falling apart like all of our spirits

Tell me when’s the last time anything really meant a thing

Do you even care?

Is that smile real?   
What did that empty glass hold?

Who are you missing

Who’s missing you tonight?

Hold on

Bleed out on the floor

Is this where we danced the night before

Scream out with me

Falling apart, losing your heart

It’s all just another part of growing up

Twisted and wicked and losing my love

Romanticize the loss

He’s bleeding, he’s crying, it’s his own fault he’s dying,

Look me in the eye and say it again

Tell me you didn’t do this to him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pm.81  
> Connolly


End file.
